Eveningpaw and Billowpaw make fun of Warrior cats!
by Dove Quill
Summary: It's exactly what the title says, folks, and we start of with... *drum roll* find out!
1. Chapter 1

This is a Warriors Laughter Machine. The more the laughs, the more I will do. I don't own ANYTHING but Eveningpaw, Billowpaw, and Wispkit and Sleetfoot. They are real cats. I am Eveningpaw, Billowpaw is my real brother.... ENJOY!

Eveningpaw: Hey there! This is another Eveningpaw production, and my brother is my accomplice!

Billowpaw: BURP

Eveningpaw: Good times... good times... anyway, the first cat to pass our grounds to get to Warriors Laughter Machine is... is...

Billowpaw: DUH!

Eveningpaw:*uh*... Our judges are_...Leafpool, Stormfur, Yellowfang, Bluestar, Whitestorm_... but more importantly... _YOU_! So review your butts off!

Billowpaw: Hee hee hee...butts...

Eveningpaw: *sigh* I know you are from FARTCLAN....but...seriously....

Billowpaw: Hee hee hee... fart...*Bliiiii*

Eveningpaw: Ew. Anyway, the first one to pass our grounds... as I was saying before rudely interrupted *glares at the nitwit in the corner, doing goofy smile*... will be Tigerstar!

Tigerstar: HA! HA! I knew I would be back! I told you! Hey! *Spots Wispkit, the new camera-kit pointing something shiny at him* Stupid infernal contraption! *chews infernal contraption, which happened to be a camera*

Wispkit: Evenigpaw! He got saliva on my new 234-2D!

Eveningpaw: *gaspeth* Oh no! Santa gave it to us for X-mas! *gets something out of pocket* DIE! *Sprays pepperspray right in Tigerstar's eyes*

Tigerstar: EH! I am blind!

Eggpaw: Like me.

Eveningpaw: Like Eggpaw. Well, at least I saved 5666 bucks.

Billowpaw: cheapsake.

Eveningpaw: Well... let's just get this thing ON!

*********

Tigerstar padded to places that he could not see, sight blurred by the stinging thing in his eyes 'pepperspray'. He walked right to the edge of a glistening lake, his reflection perfect. Tigerstar washed his eyes. The woods around him were dim and there was something eerie about it. Something tapped in on the shoulder. Tigerstar spun wildly around.

"What the!?" There stood a beautiful calico she-cat with sparkling, deep blue eyes. Tigerstar rubbed his eyes with his paws, which is a very hard thing to do if you are a cat. "Hello," She said in a perfect voice, and Tigerstar rubbed his ears. 'I am Flaxfeather. Welcome to my home."

"Why in Starclan do you live in his dump, beautiful?" Tigerstar purred, wagging his, um, 'M' mark that was like a connected eyebrow. Flaxfeather chuckled lightly. Wow, Tigerstar never expected his flirting to be so good. He had to try 1123123123124346578 plus unknown times to get Goldenflower. Plus more unknowns, to be exact.

"It's not here, but I can take you to my cottage," she mewed with honey in her voice, whicch Tigerstar suspected literally as there was something gold in her mouth, and there was a cloud of bees nearby. By the way, he thought, was in the Dark Forest is a cottage? Oh well... wait! It must be a twoleg thing... a dull bell rung in his poorly kept brain, which was shriveled up. This was his equation: Twoleg=Eveningpaw... Cottage=Twoleg...... Flaxfeather= One of Evenigpaw's employees up to the job of doing something bad to him! (I don't know how that got in there...)

"Sure!" he decided to play along. If he was going down, he was taking Eveningpaw with him and many happy memories with Flaxfeather.... Hee hee hee.

They padded to the far corners of the lake to a small, cosy den. Tigerstar settled himself in a 'chair', as she called it. Flaxfeather turned and called out, "Ternfrost!"

A lovely she-cat with a gray pelt in the pattern of an average tortie came out with something in her paws.

'Oh, hello, I was just baking some pie!" Ternfrost, who had a remarkably similar name to Hawkfrost, as they have frost at the end and they both were birds, held out the brown thing in her paws. So that is pie! Tigerstar thought. He gave a great bid wiff and sighed. Eveningpaw sure did a good job. But it was poisen, and he knew it. So, since Tigerstar knew that is was poisen, he ate some.

"Delicious!" he mewed with a mouth full. So there was no poisen in there after all, unless it took a slow and grave effect. But, after all, he was Tigerstar, so he ate until the sun set. They seemed to have an everlasting supply of denmade pie.

"Oh, no more, no more..." Tigerstar grumbled some time in the morning, and he had a huge stomach by then. But Ternfrost and Flaxfeather didn't budge their paws.

"Eat the pie!" meowed Flaxfeather, her face set in a smile. "Eat the pie," her face got more serious and it didn't have a smile on it anymore. "Eat the pie. Eat the pie," she chanted. This was creeping Tigerstar out, but he couldn't possibly be afraid of two sissies!

"Eat the pie," Ternfrost commanded, as she too had joined in. "Eat the pie. Eat the pie. Eat the pie. Eat the pie..." Tigerstar stood his ground as they got closer. Finally, Flaxfeather tried to pry his jaws open, and Tigerstar tried to slap her away in response, but she didn't budge. He leapt back and hissed menacingly, but then he collapsed in a corner, as he was too fat.

"Eat the pie. Eat the pie. Eat the pie. Eat the pie." Tigerstar wimpered and covered his face.

"Help!" he squealed in fright. "Help!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bell sounded and the scene came up in the roll. The actors went away to take their breaks. Eveningpaw and Billowpaw gathered in on Tigerstar, who remained cowering.

"Did we over do it?" Eveningpaw asked her brother.

"Nah," snorted Billowpaw. In fact, he cared less.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is what you have all been waiting for! The judges' descision, and like I said, review your butts off! Seriously. **

Eveningpaw: So, we start off with Leafpool!

Leafpool: Hi.

Eveningpaw: Leafpool, what did you think about the humiliation level of the previous scene? *gets a T.V, shows Tigerstar, bloated, cowering in front of pie* Don't you just like Blueberries?

Leafpool: Why yes, they are my favorite type of berry. But I am on a diet, so....

Eveningpaw: You are a bit plump...

Leafpool: Er, yes. **(If any of you are wondering why she is nervous, let's just say that this is before _The Power of Three_...*snickers*)**

Eveningpaw: Anyway, what did you think about that episode?

Leafpool: Well, I certainly did like the part when Tigerstar tried to flirt.

Stormfur: Loser! I did way better with Brook and Squirrelflight.

Leafpool: OMG! My sister was your first crush? Gross!

Squirrelflight, somewhere in the audience: Hey! I am a least bit attractive... *Crickets* Brambleclaw! Stick up to your lovely mate here!

Brambleclaw was nowhere to be seen.

Squirrelflight: Anyone seen my Brambly-poo?

A shy audience member in the back: Maybe he went to the bathroom...?

Squirrelflight: Brambles! There you are! Tell Leafpool how beautiful I am!

Brambleclaw: I think I ate a stale mouse!

Squirrelflight, going even redder than before: Brambly!

Eveningpaw: ... Leafpool just continue with your thing. *ignoring the shouts of Squirrelflight, well attempting to anyway*

Leafpool: I think that Ternfrost was a great actor, with the chanting monotone, so I give it an _**8!**_

Eveningpaw: Alright! So, Stormfur, what did you think of it?

Stormfur: I think that he was, like, totally creeped out, dude, I mean, I think he wet himself. *points to a dark spot on the carpet*

Eveningpaw: OK... I'll get Fogpaw to do it...

Fogpaw, mopping and mumbling: Why did I get replaced by a kit?

Wispkit: *snickers evilly behind the camera*

Stormfur: And it was awesome, seeing that big bully be afraid of two she-cats with pie! I give it an **_8! _**as well.

Eveningpaw: That's great, Stormfur, and now let's get Yellowfang! (I've been waiting for this)

Yellowfang: Just because I can insult cats doesn't make me easier to write. You have no power over me, even though I am on your computer! NEVER!!!

Eveningpaw: Rats.

Shortwhisker/Hutch: Where?

Eveningpaw: Uh... Yellowfang? What do you think?

Yellowfang, panting, one eye twitching: Well... Tigerstar was just a plain sissy, and I wish that they just stuffed him. So he can explode. From the inside. And the blonde is too skinny. And that Ternfrost is too Emo, by the looks of it.

Flaxfeather: Hey!

Yellowfang, snapping: Hay is for horses! And I think that this show sucks! All those reviewers, do as I say and flame! BURN BABY, BURN!

Eveningpaw: Er, don't do it, reviewers! Please! I'll never get any more readers! *Whimpers* I want to get famous here!

Yellowfang: That's what they all want, but it never comes true. Now, I give it a **_4 _**because I got to see Tigerstar act like a weenie.

Someone in the crowd: Yeah! Weenie!

Squirrelflight: Bramble-poo? There you are!

Brambleclaw, with the old trick of glasses, the nose and mustashe: EEP!

Billowpaw: Because now my sister is paranoid of the flames that will "burn down my carreer that sucks too much already", as she puts it, pessimist... I am the new host!

Ravenpaw: Oh no! Cats, remember last time on _Warrior Interviews_? It was a disaster! But I overcame the blubber thing and tamed the beast (Billowpaw)!

Whitestorm: Oh yeah, I saw that one.. I loved it... Hee hee hee. He poked you with a stick... hee hee.. stick...

Jayfeather, who is not yet born, but whatever: Hey! The stick is everything! It is life as we know it... it is love..

Lionblaze: Addiction and having conversations to inactive objects.

Jayfeather: You will not bad-mouth my sticky! *hisses and jumps on Lionblaze, or where he thinks he is*

Hollyleaf: Hey! Ow! You really need to work out.

Eveningpaw, watching it on TV: This _is _a disaster!

Billow_star_: Since I am now writing, you will do as told!

The whole room freezes, and there is no noise except for Yellowfang trying to defy him. (*spit* you won't succeed! *struggles* no! *deterioating and writhing on the floor* no... no...you can't make me in your control... *bows down to the dictator*)

Billowstar: MUHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHA!

**_******_**

**_Oh no! This started as the judges scores when Billowstar/paw came back to leadership.... again! What will happen then? Hey, read Warriors Interview on Dove's Quill to get the last adventure of the littermates._**


End file.
